Poker Ramblings of cmitch

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I was flipping through the Brighthouse On Demand channels the other night and came across the movie "All In" on TMC On Demand. I couldn't find anything better so I clicked the play button for All In. Afer all, it is a poker movie and how bad can a poker movie be. (FWIW - I haven't seen Lucky You yet.)

I didn't have very high expectations since the movie went straight to video even though it had some decent actors in it:

Dominique Swain - the main character
Michael Madsen - her degen father
Louis Gossett, Jr. - her father's war buddy
Bunch of other random people

The movie synopsis from the IMDB:

"As a young girl, Alicia "Ace" Anderson (Swain) had been taught the fine art and the mathematical probabilities of Texas Hold-em poker by the father she adored. But that world came to an end when her father was taken from her in a fatal auto accident. Years later, as she enters medical school, she will need to call upon the skills her father taught her as she struggles with the rigorous medical training, mounting financial pressures and the seamier side of medicine. Her friends and fellow students combine their unique talents and skills to produce a team who may well be the ultimate poker machine. But as the stakes in both the casinos and the operating room continue to rise, Ace comes to understand what her father taught her: in order to really live, you need to go all in."

I don't know where to start; let's just say that the movie had an unintentional "cheese" factor that made it watchable - strictly for how horrible it was. There were several scenes and a lot of dialogue that I found funny. How often do you get to hear lines like the following in a movie:

"Is you in or is you out?"

"Every hands a winner and every hands a loser." - wonder where they got that from

"Aces and Eights - that's a dead man's hand. How fitting." - After a desperate player is all-in for his life and loses.

"He has a tell. He takes exactly 4 seconds every time he has a hand and takes exactly 8 seconds every time he is bluffing."

Several hands later - "He knows that she has figured out his tell. He just took 6 seconds." This is funny on so many levels.

"How could you go against God like that. If you walk out that door, you can't ever come back." This line isn't about poker, it is when Ace Anderson (Swain's characters name) is leaving to go to medical school on full ride scholarship. Her mom believes medicine goes against God. This definitely needed to be part of the movie - :).

If this movie had ever gotten popular then 36 would have become the new hammer.

Everything about this movie is hilarious (again it isn't supposed to be a comedy). If you have a couple of hours to kill and can watch the movie for free, then go for it. Just know what you are getting into and have a few beers ahead of time.

I would go into more detail, but I think the IMDB user reviews tell the best story (whether you have seen the movie or not):

Oh for God's sake. How could anyone seriously give this piece of trash anything higher than a 1? Someone is seriously messing with us on these rave reviews...... This may be the very worst movie I have ever seen in my life. - Obviously this guy wasn't looking at the comedic aspects of the movie. :)

I recommend this movie to anyone that enjoyed the movie of the week about the alcoholic mother or the secretly bulimic high school girl. I kept looking for the Lifetime logo on the bottom corner of the screen.

So bad, I was shouting derisions at the TV screen. The acting was from HELL, the writing was moronic, but more disturbing is the obviously planted "rave" reviews in this IMDb comment page. Who do you think you're fooling? Do you think if you manufactured praise that it makes it true or valid?

Anyone who loved movies like Scorsese's CASINO should enjoy this genre, even though this film deals more with a father/daughter relationship and being there for a loved one rather than the typical mob Vegas..Madson's emotional performance with his kid almost had me in tears in the end....I give it a full boat or at least 3 aces. - Smoke much crack lately there. LOLOLOOOOOOOOL. Baaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaa

This is truly a story about heart. - heehee

If there's nothing else on cable, and you don't mind throwing away about an hour and a half of your life (it seems much longer), you might take a look at it. If you're expecting a good poker movie, like the Rounders, or something, don't bother, though.

Makes me wonder what kind of donkeys are writing these reviews, how any person w/ half a brain could enjoy this movie or the performances is completely beyond me, and leads me to believe that these are the PR people for the actors and the studio that made this movie. If you liked this film you have no right to an opinion because you are an idiot spreading bad information like a plague..... Every single person involved w/ this movie or reviewed it as good should be put to death, there I said it.

All In had everything I look for in a great movie. The story flies right by and when it's over, you feel fulfilled and still want more.

I could read the reviews for hours. I think they are even funnier than the movie.

5 responses to "All In The Movie - A Comedy?"

  1. And all of this time, I thought Sly Stallone's Shade was the worst poker movie... which I am still claiming that it is since I haven't seen this one.


  2. The comments are hilarious.

    Alan aka RecessRampage

  3. Oh, man. I'm going to have to see if I can find this On Demand. Thanks for the heads up.

    "He has a tell. He takes exactly 4 seconds every time he has a hand and takes exactly 8 seconds every time he is bluffing."

    Several hands later - "He knows that she has figured out his tell. He just took 6 seconds."

    I have the feeling that when I see that part in the actual movie, I am going to be on the floor.

    Matt Silverthorn

  4. "Every single person involved w/ this movie or reviewed it as good should be put to death, there I said it."



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